Boston Significantly Drops Holiday Loitering by Playing “Christmas Shoes”

(This post first appeared on my old website Scherzo a piacere in 2016)

Boston, MA- When city officials started playing music near the Boston Harbor for the holiday season, they had no idea the effect it could have.

Whenever Newsong’s Christmas Shoes played, loiterers began to leave the area. City officials noticed this trend and played the song whenever they saw loiterers. As they put this practice into effect, loitering became almost non-existent.

A man, upon hearing the song for the first time, began to weep openly. “This song is just  depressing and it shouldn’t belong in the Christmas repertoire,” he said. “Why do you write Christmas songs about people dying? Why?” He was never seen near the harbor again.

There was also a significant decrease in tourists dumping tea in the harbor.

Since the city started playing Christmas Shoes, loitering has dropped significantly in the area. City officials are now considering selections to play outside of the holiday season, such as I would walk 500 miles, Rebecca Black’s Friday, and selections from Justin Bieber.